Ava - 5 months old

Roller Coaster Ride

I can't believe what a roller coaster ride this whole process has been. I never imagined in a million years that it would be like this, but I can honestly say that I'm thankful for it. God has never been more real to me or taught me more than He has during this time. The great news we received a few weeks ago was actually intended for another family, which was shocking and pretty hard to take in. We thought God had done a miracle and we told everyone that He did only to find out we got the news by mistake. There were 2 babies with similar names, so the attorney's assistant thought it was our case when it actually wasn't. I never thought I'd say this, but I am thankful that it happened because it caused me to really seek Him and ask Him why and meditate on who He is. I found 2 things: 1. God does not have to explain Himself to anyone, let alone me; He asks only that I trust Him. Really trust Him, not just say that I do. His ways are not our ways, and they are past finding out. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts, and He knows what He is doing. 2. I had been focusing so much on the mistake that was made that I was missing out on the miracles He has done all along the way! We started the process at just the right time, He answered our many prayers about the shaky situation with the Guatemalan government, He provided Todd with a job for just the right amount of time so we could pay for the adoption and buy a house that better suits our family's needs, and He has put Ava in a loving, caring foster home. Talk about miracles! The 'bad news' we got was so obviously a test from Him and it was also His answer to a prayer I've been praying for Him to increase my faith. I've also got to say that Todd has been a rock during this time. He has been the spiritual leader our family more during this time than ever before. He was able to speak so much truth to me that I needed to hear. So after the turmoil of the past few weeks, we found out early last week that our case was approved and we will be traveling to pick up Ava in mid-March! I still can't believe it's going to happen.